Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
