Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
