i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
