Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
