my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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