We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
