I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
