I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
