What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
