I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
