i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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