I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
