so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
