i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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