so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
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