i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
