Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Randomize
