Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
They have beer where we have blood.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
