this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
