wat bout pragnant strippers??
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
