just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Drake has all the answers
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
