I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
