as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
