I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
