fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
