Where is the hickey?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
