I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
