Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
