So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
