You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
40s are totally the cure
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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