It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
