it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
