i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
