so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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