You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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