we're blogging at a bar
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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