Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
