how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
