so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
