i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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