would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
