actually, I'm a sock model
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
