i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
