so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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