I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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