Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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