woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
