my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
