Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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