i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
This toilet bowl is my home.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
