Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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