This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
